Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Carter & Naomi: 19 years old
Andrew: 17 years old
Marshall: 13 years old

People often wonder why I don’t trust doctors so let me provide a small example of why I’ve come to be this way.  I had a follow up appointment with my gastroenterologist this morning (Dr. Shukla) to receive the results of my pH Bravo test.  The irony of this is that I have had the results since a few days after the procedure because I have a patient portal account that shows most test results but I kept the appointment to get the “official results”.  An hour after my scheduled appointment time the doctor comes walking in with a medical student.  He asks how I’ve been since he last saw me and asked a few basic questions and then we had the following conversation:

Doctor:  As you will remember you had me take out the device early so we weren’t able to get sufficient results from the test.

Me:  Really, because I got my results off the patient portal.

Doctor:  We weren’t able to get sufficient results because the capsule wasn’t in place long enough.  I had tried to explain to you that the capsule has to be in place for several days to get adequate results.

Me:  But the capsule was in for 5 days and I got the results off the patient portal.

Doctor:  Really?  Hold on a minute.   (he leaves and comes back)

Doctor:  I’m so sorry, we got a new record system which doesn’t automatically send us records from the hospital.  I have the results right here.  On the Johnson scale anything over 14 would indicate bad reflux that most likely requires surgery and your results were 47!  (Yes he said forty-seven).  So there are basically three types of surgery:  Stretta which essentially burns and scars the bottom of the esophagus so that nothing can reflux, Linx which is a magnetic system that closes the bottom of the esophagus and the tried and true Fundoplication which wraps the upper part of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus to strengthen the sphincter.  Which one would you like?

(At this point I’m a little annoyed that I had to tell him I had results and now I’m annoyed that a doctor is asking me which procedure when typically the doctor tells you which is most appropriate.  I decide to let him know just how much I know.)

Me:  Well, I don’t think the Stretta procedure would be appropriate for me because my body has a habit of over producing scar tissue so I would imagine given my medical history there would be a high probability that I would form too much scar tissue thereby closing my esophagus and potentially cause it to fail to function.  The Fundoplication is a great procedure which has a proven track record but it alters the physiology of my stomach and esophagus and has a high degree of risk.  Although the Linx procedure is fairly new I feel that it is the least invasive, has the lowest known risks and in the off chance that it fails, you can still have the Fundoplication surgery performed.

Doctor:  I agree.  So we will set you up with an appointment to see one of our surgeons to discuss the Linx procedure.  That is spelled L-i-n-x if you want to do more research on it.

Me:  I’ve already done the research.  I know the risks, I know the recovery, I know that you can only have certain types of MRIs performed after the procedure.  I also researched what happens if you are unconscious and someone performs the wrong MRI – I learned that the magnets will not be ripped out of your chest in a life threatening manner but the MRI will reverse the polarity of the magnets meaning the magnets will have to be replaced.

Doctor:  Okay, so we’ll get that set up for you.

So I’m wondering why on earth I had to pay this guy $60 when I knew everything before hand and even had to tell him what the f*ck was going on?!?!?!?  Grrrrr!

I had a similar experience at LensCrafters when we went to get Emily’s glasses repaired (the arm broke off).  The guy immediately handed me a piece of paper with the name, address and phone number of a repair place and told me that the arm would have to be soldered back in place.  I asked if they couldn’t just replace the arm and he explained that the referral company would possibly have spare parts but LensCrafters did not.  I asked if my warranty would still be honored at the repair company to which he replied “Oh, you have a warranty, let me check on that ……. yep you have a warranty so you can get a brand new pair for $25 would you like to do that?”  Uhhhh – yeah!  When you come in with broken glasses for a child why wouldn’t you automatically check the computer to see if there is a warranty?!?!?!?   Grrrrrr people!

On a happy note, after 5 very hot days, our downstairs A/C unit was replaced today and by 10:00pm the downstairs was finally a comfortable 72 degrees!!!!!!  Ahhhh, I can finally get a good night of sleep!

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